My Personal Hell - Part three - The rest of the story

(If you've read part two, most of the following should make sense. If you haven't, good luck)

(once again, I tried to keep it short. I failed)

Where to start? A little preface. Most of the material below comes from things I remembered over the last few years, but never made it to consciousness while I was trying to explain the situation in question. Some of it I remembered on my own (one item I had totally forgotten about until today), a lot of it I eventually remembered or was made aware of while talking to other former coworkers over the last few years.


One of the issues I encountered when trying to make a quick reply to my boss was that he had worked day shift and could not be contacted except in case of emergency. The manager that ran the department over which I was responsible for training was out of town and one of the two others assigned to training in the same area as myself was off that night. I was scheduled to facilitate a class that night and really didn't have much time to devote to figuring out what had happened.

One of the co-workers that was working that night, I found out latter, was busy interviewing people who had attended the messed up October class while I was facilitating my class and trying to figure out how to respond to my boss's email. Several months after I was fired, I realized something else.

When I thought about it, I could not figure out how I could possibly have accidentally put the "bad" sign-in sheet in with all the others I had sent to the vendor company. Then one day I realized that it wasn't until closer to December that I started submitting paperwork directly to the vendor. Initially, all paperwork submitted to the vendor passed through the hands of someone else. The individual through whom all paperwork passed on it's way to the vendor was the same person who was doing the "investigation", one of my coworkers.

Additionally, on the night I wrote my original response, I discussed the situation and my proposed response with this same coworker . His reply to me was something to the effect that I should go with the response that most saved our companies face (basically, what I wound up submitting). Our boss would probably appreciate the company oriented spin and there was something said about being a team player ( I think referring to our manager).



Why would a normally conscientious trainer conduct a class that he knew he was not qualified to conduct? A little background here will help. In the training department, there were essentially two groups. One concentrated on one area of the operation while the others dealt with a different area. I was the de-facto lead of my group (which, oddly enough, we all knew intrinsically but was never actually said to me until after I was told to take a hike). To answer the question, he presented the class because I told him to (well, not intentionally).

We were given instructions (by our manager) that the training in question should be presented to groups of new employees at the beginning of their first night of operational training. Not that this would be difficult. It amounted to reading 2 paragraphs verbatim out of the trainers manual, presenting a video tape then handing out (and grading) the associated test (45 minutes max).

On this particular night, however, we had an issue due to another rule we tried very hard to follow. Not very long before I was supposed to go into the class and present the material, I found out that one of the other trainers had scheduled two current employees to arrive well before their regular scheduled start time for some specialized training. This training could only be facilitated by myself and the trainer who had made the arrangements. Employees who were brought in early for training took precedent over any other training. After being harassed for a few minutes about my decision to work with the specialized training and put off the vendor training till later in the night, I finally said to the gentleman who did the class that if he wanted it done now (the vendor training), he was going to have to do it himself. I put the materials on somebodies desk (I think his) and left to go do what I felt had priority. Surprise, he thought I was actually telling him to do the class, not mouthing off to get him off my back. Oops!

What would make me think my manager would want me to sugar coat the facts a little? The phrase "it better be good" (or what ever the actual verbiage) was a start. It also didn't help knowing that since before I started in the training position, trainers at my facility had been generating inaccurate paperwork on at least a monthly basis. Internal company regulations and, eventually, vendor company regulations required that employees who completed training and were certified to work in a certain area of the operation were required to complete an annual, 3 hour re-certification class. As much as I didn't like it, every one of those 1 hour re-certification sessions I (and those before and after me) facilitated, magically became 3 hours on paper (I should also note that, while often retraining was not always in the classroom, all the certified personnel received more than 3 hours of training or retraining throughout the year, sometimes as part of work group start-up meetings or by personal interaction and coaching by trainers, supervisors and lead service agents).

More personally, I had often seen my manager fiddle with the "paperwork" in order to comply with some work place regulation. At some point, I think in 2004, some employee designations and classifications were changed with a result being that many of us were suddenly "required" to take a daily lunch break. I had problems with this for several reasons. Briefly: It would essentially cost me 2.5 hrs pay per week; while I was often able to conform, the majority in the same classification never really had the opportunity and I didn't feel right goofing off if they couldn't; Lunch at 3:00am?. Anyway, my manager knew that I often did not really have time to stop for a lunch, especially in the winter. While he would sometimes get on me about the lunch thing, I would again explain why I hadn't been able to clock out for lunch the previous few days. We used an electronic time clock that could be accessed through any managers computer. My manager took to making adjustments to my clock times to show a lunch break every day.

In December, 2004 and/or January, 2005 I started paying closer attention to my time sheets. While I did not have access to the time system myself, the administrative assistants did, and would gladly print out a listing of an individuals punch times for as far back as needed. With absolutely no memory of what I had done on any given day, it was easy to tell if I had actually taken a lunch break or if my manager had "inserted" one for me (If it showed exactly 30 minutes off the clock, he did it). Usually, when he inserted a break, he adjusted my start and end times to compensate. Usually. On more than one occasion he failed to make the correct adjustment, in effect taking money out of my pocket. I'm quite sure it was an oversight and not him intentionally lightening my wallet. I did at least once point out to him the mistake he made, with a print out in my hand. He may have wondered how I got it.

While I'm on the subject of my manager, there is one more thing that I would like to mention. On the occasions (thankfully, not many) I thought I had made a serious mistake or felt that I had something to do with something not working correctly, I did not hesitate to take the issue directly to my supervisor. I always preferred they hear it from me rather than from someone else.

We would regularly have training department staff meetings to discuss upcoming events, foreseen issues and any issues we had encountered since the last meeting. Several months after I was fired, I was reminded by a former coworker that one of these meetings occurred the night of or within a day or two of the messed up class. While this former coworker did not remember every exact word spoken, he reminded me that we had in fact informed our manager of the class that was presented by the unqualified trainer, that I had made the decision to work with the early arriving employees and the reasoning behind that decision, and (I'm pretty sure he told me this) that I had asked this same coworker to fix the problem (reteach the class).

I can not hold it against my former manager if he forgot about this meeting and what was discussed. After all, I did too. And we both forgot to follow up to make sure the problem was corrected. But once I was reminded of the meeting, I started to have some vague memories and impressions of the occasion. One of these is, for some reason, I see (or imagine) myself saying to the group something like "we'll just white out ????????'s signature and replace it with someones who can teach the class." I don't really think I said or even thought this at the time, but I may have. At that time I was involved in a dispute with both the vendor company and, to some extent, with my manager.

When we performed any training for this vendor company, obviously sign-in sheets were generated. No problem. The problem was that they wanted trainers and those attending the classes (who were not direct employees of the vendor company) to record their social security number on the sign-in sheet. In an age of identity theft, I felt this was completely wrong, arrogant, stupid, obnoxious, (fill in any stronger adjective here) and, quite possibly, illegal. To say I let my feelings be known would be an understatement. Both to management at my company and through training representatives of the vendor company. My manager took both sides of the issue. He both agreed that asking for SS #'s was not right and that we had to complete the forms as the vendor required. (After quite a bit of debate higher up that I, a solution was reached that did not require the use of SS#'s. How many of the SS#'s written on the earliest sign-in sheets that were fake may never be known. I'd venture to guess, most of them. (No idea who came up with that idea)

I have often wondered if I was actually fired to satisfy management at the vendor company (like a sacrificial lamb) instead of getting rid of me for what they actually claimed ("willful disregard of company regulations" or something like that, I think). After all, I must have made myself known well enough to them that when, a few months later, the powers that be at the vendor company came across a sign-in sheet with my name on it that looked wrong, they may well have started drooling.

And why not go ahead and pull the trigger. After all, the first week in January, I answered no when we were asked in a training staff meeting if we were planing to move with the company to the new operation facility in a different city. Yep. Just about two weeks before they gave me the axe, I pretty much told the company that we would be divorcing on December 31st. Two weeks before.

Two months after, something appeared in a newspaper from an individual who was worried if they had done the right thing. This person knew about two weeks in advance that a coworker was about to get fired and did not say anything to the coworker. While every thing about this letter points to a certain individual with whom I once worked and greatly respected, I'm sure that the letter did not involve my situation. But, on the off chance that it did, like it or not, this person did the right thing.

To return full circle, it always seemed a little odd that the whole firing event happened while the one manager who could probably have smoothed over the situation for me was out of town and the coworker who I relied on the most was on vacation.

Epilogue

I'm sure there are things I've been wanting to get out for a long time that, for some reason, I can not remember right this moment. I may drop them in some day in the future, and I may not. At least, everything I can think of about the whole situation and a few extras has at last been let out of my mind. Maybe I can return thinking about other things.

Did I make some mistakes? Certainly. Did I deserve to be tossed out on my ear? The farther away I get from the event, the less I think so. Am I wholely to blame for the entire situation. I think not. But what do I know.

But there is one question left to answer. With all this in mind, what am I supposed to say in an employment interview if I'm asked why I was fired?

My personal hell - part two

As best as I can, the events leading up to the title subject. Caution, it may wind up a little wordy. But I'll do my best.



Monday January 26, 2005: I get to work and check my emails. Among them is one from my manager concerning a training session that had been facilitated at the end of October and the corresponding "sign-in" sheet. The message indicated that the vendor company for which the training had taken place was concerned that the "sign-in"sheet did not look authentic and they implied that the training did not actually take place. At the end of the message to me was an indication from my manager that I needed to reply with a good answer (in my reply message, I deleted this sentence, as I knew my reply would be forwarded to the vendor).



Having a very vague memory (in other words, I basically had no idea at that time) of the events of the night in question, I did ask around for whatever information I could get quickly and wrote my reply. In my reply I indicated that I took offense at the implication that we would claim to have made a training presentation without actually having done so, and, if there were any inconsistencies, they were made in good faith. I also expressed my apologies for allowing correction fluid to be used on the "sign-in" sheet, against vendor company rules (which I overlooked when reading the class trainers' manual).



Tuesday morning I got a call from my manager complementing me on the reply I had given, even commenting on the extent to which his boss's liked the part that if we said we did it, we did.

He then proceeded to tell me that several of the "facts" of my response were in question and I was going to be placed on unpaid leave until an investigation could be completed.



Now to the heart of the matter. In the section of the "sign-in" sheet requiring the instructors signature, correction fluid had been used. Over the correction fluid was my signature. My original explanation was that someone in my department who was not certified to give the training had gotten the paperwork started for the class and had signed the form though I actually taught the class. In order to keep from having to track down the students to have them re-sign on a new sheet, I just corrected the one I had. When I wrote this, I wasn't completely sure if it was exactly accurate (especially given that the day in question was 3 months earlier) but it sounded reasonable and probable ( as this type of thing had happened in the past). It also was the type of answer I thought my manager wanted from me (one that minimized any fault on the part of my company; he said he wanted a "good" answer).



Turns out, I was wrong. The uncertified person had made the presentation. He even told me so on Monday night, but I thought he had to be mistaken. Why would my signature appear on the paperwork from a class he presented and why would he handle a class he was not certified to facilitate? On Monday night, I had no idea.

By Wednesday, I was freaking out over the whole matter and I wound up going into work to have a talk with my manager and a member of Human Resources. This is when I was shown the paperwork in question. I was also told that the employees who attended the training all said, when asked, that my coworker had run the training. After some time, I asked my manager if we could talk privately as there were things I didn't want the HR person to hear.

Outside, I told him about the underlying meaning that I had gotten from his message and that I didn't understand why he wanted to continue to pursue the issue. Wasn't my original response enough to satisfy the vendor company and keep us from looking bad in their eyes? I also indicated to him that I thought this whole thing was being blown out of proportion to be used as an excuse to get rid of me and not have to pay me the incentive money we were all promised (if we stayed with the company until closing).

He assured me that this investigation had nothing to do with the incentives. Then, after he indicated that I had misread his intent and that he couldn't imagine why I would even think that he would want me to sugar coat reality, I went ahead and told him what I had learned, remembered or thought I remembered about the incident since my original response. He told me to write it down and get it back to him.

In short, it said that I put the correction fluid over my coworkers signature and replaced it with my own as an attempt to get under the skin of one of my other coworkers. As the class was invalid (due to being presented by an uncertified individual), any resulting paperwork would be invalid and could be thrown away. Unfortunately, after I messed with it, I forgot to throw it away and somehow it wound up in the hands of the vendor company.

Thursday morning I was called and asked to come in to discuss the situation. When I got there, I was led into a little office by the security station and met by my manager and someone from HR who proceeded to tell me that they were going to have to let me go. While I usually try to be prepared for most anything, I was shocked. I had no idea what to say or do. When I asked to go up to my desk and get my personal items, one of them went over to the security station and grabbed a box full of my personal effects. I was told that if there was anything else of mine that I wanted to get, I would have to schedule an appointment to be escorted up to my desk to get it.

I left that building with my box in my hands, my brain totally confused and very upset and angry. Not just from the being fired, but from the attitude I was shown. One would think I tried to rob the place or I had shot someone with the attitude given me.

A day or two later, I called to go get the rest of my stuff from my desk. I was basically told that at no time would I be allowed to go back to my former desk to get any remaining personal items (so I had a co-worker pack up all of my things and meet me at a store on his way to work the next night).

Three months later, I find out the the information I was given concerning closing my retirement account was incorrect. I was told by the HR rep to wait until the end of the fiscal quarter (March), then to contact the retirement people. I waited until April and made the call. This is when I learned that I should have called immediately after losing the job if I wanted to take a payout of my account (and these rules had just recently changed). My companies regulations allow only a 60 day window for such transactions.

The bad news is that I lost a great job and lost out on a lot of money. The good news is that the company that now wants nothing to do with me, in about 15 years, has to start sending me a check every month not to work for them. Retirement can be a wonderful thing.

Part three is the rest of the story, the stuff that will make you wonder.

My Personal Hell - Part One

A few years ago I was abruptly fired from a job that I really enjoyed. The company I worked for was scheduled to close the local facility in December of the year I was fired and all employees who stayed with the company through the last day of local operations were to receive a severance package. In my case, the severance would have amounted to between $25,000 and $30,000. Needless to say, I did not get to see any of that money.

The sudden loss of my job had an immediate financial impact on my family, as well as the long term impact from not getting the severance money. For the longest time after getting fired, I continually replayed the events that led up to my dismissal and I had a hard time getting over having lost my job. Every time I went for a job interview or even saw a job posting that interested me, I would worry about trying to explain why I was fired.

While I've been somewhat able to keep my family financially above water (barely), the worry about trying to explain my sudden departure to a prospective employee has never gone away.

For the most part, the daily regrets and thinking about what happened lessened over time. However, within the last few days it was announced that the company is vacating the facility it moved to a few years ago and returning to the local facility. And it all came rushing back. For the last couple of days I've been overwhelmed with reliving that period of my life and the feelings of failure that go with it.

The funny thing is that I'm glad to hear that they are returning where they belong (though the events that led to their re-relocation are depressing) and would go back to my old job in a heartbeat. Though my family thinks I'm nuts to even consider returning, as soon as I heard about the move I contacted one of the managers I had a good relationship with and asked about the possibility of returning. He happened to run into my former immediate supervisor (the one who actually fired me) who told him pretty much what I expected, that I am not considered re-hire able.

I guess it's true that you can never go back and, if I could, I may be better off not to. But I sure would like it if it were my decision.

(Part two will cover the events that led to my getting fired, my reaction at the time and all that I have been told, reminded of, or remembered on my own since.)

Tis the season

IT"S TAX DAY!!!!!! (well, tomorrow). Hurrah.



Quite a few years ago I was listening to Mike McConnel (a local conservative talk show host) and He had an idea that made a great deal of sense to me. Basically, it went like this:

1. All income taxs must be paid in cash on April 15th at your most convenient government facility. (To avoid individuals being robbed on their way to pay their taxs, maybe a check cashing window could be set up right next to the payment window). No withholding by the employer, the individual would be responsible for making the full payment on tax day.


2. Move election day from the first Tuesday after the first Monday in November to April 16th.

The whole idea being that if we all had to see exactly how much cash we are turning over to the government every year, we might all pay a little more attention to who we were electing. I figure that if we did this for a year or two we would probably have a very large turnover in congress and a whole lot of the waste would be eliminated in government spending.

The other idea I had is that we could make tax payment day the same day as "Tax Freedom Day" (the day in the year that the "average"American has theoretically made all the money they will need to pay their yearly tax's and after which they get to keep their income for their own purposes). This year, tax freedom day is actually April 13th. Not too long ago, tax freedom day was closer to the beginning of the month or earlier. It is highly likely that within just a few years, tax freedom day will be nearer to May (give it long enough, tax freedom day may make it to early in November, thus fulfilling the idea above). Again, if more people were aware of how long they have to work every year just to give the government "it's" money, maybe more people will start paying attention to government spending.

On the same subject, a friend of mine has threatened to print bumper stickers saying: "If I'm paying your mortgage, blow your horn".

By the way, I was gone a while from the blogasphere mostly because I didn't have much to say that I thought would be of interest to anyone (including myself).

One off hand remark

Not long after we (VWS) moved into our current facility, I opened one of the cabinets in the kitchenette and discovered this cool looking electric griddle. I'd see it again every now and then and always have the same thought, I'd like to get that thing out and do up a batch of pancakes on it. About 6 weeks ago I happened to open that cabinet while Rick Barker was next to me and I mentioned to him that someday I'd like to make a mess of pancakes for church. Within minutes, it went from a few batches of pancakes to an entire Easter breakfast for the whole church.

The breakfast itself went off pretty well. We had more than enough of just about everything to serve the roughly 250 people who stopped by. We had so many people volunteer to help prepare, serve and clean up after the meal that there were a few times I couldn't see through them all to see the other side of the kitchen. All of these great people who pitched in and did most of the work deserve a sincere thank you and, I'd name them all off but out of concern that I'd leave one out. But they know who they are and if you're reading this, Thanks for helping make this morning go as smoothly as it did.

I heard a rumor that the idea was tossed out to make a church breakfast a monthly event. Provided the finances and other logistics could be taken care of, I think that could be a good idea. I'd love to see each of our established life groups pick a month and go for it (the majority of our life group was there to help out this morning).

There is one question that keeps going through my mind though, and it sounds severely egotistical even to me and it's not meant to be. If I had not made an off hand remark to the person I did at the time I did, would this ball have started rolling? Would some other series of events have lead to the same result (or possibly a better one)? What events that we attribute to any certain individual would have occurred through some other individual had not the first individual been earlier getting it done?

Not that I in anyway think there is any comparison but an example of the basic philosophical question is this: If the Wright brothers hadn't demonstrated flight when they did, wouldn't someone else have stepped up not long after and been "first in flight"? Would someone else have created Mickey Mouse if Walt Disney hadn't been around? How much of what happens in the world is more a result of the attitudes, beliefs, knowledge, etc of the time than the result of the efforts of a few individuals?



Any way, I hope the people we got to serve enjoyed the meal as much as I enjoyed helping make it.

Happy Easter (or as my brother-in-law would say: Happy Resurrection Day) to all .